A friend of mine made me aware of this article, via Facebook. Now, it’s published on slate.com, which should already have let
me know that I most likely wouldn’t agree. (Articles recommended to me in the
sidebar include: “Another Reason Not to Go to Jared: Female Employees Say
They’re Paid Less Than Men,” “Ford to Cadillac: Not Everyone in America Is a
Materialistic Jerk,” “Why You’ll
Never Be Rich,” “The OED Gets All
C-Wordy. You Should Too.” and “Why Aren’t Democrats Taking This Simple Approach
to Defending Obamacare?” So, yeah… Slate is maybe not my cup of tea.)
The premise (I read it so you wouldn’t have to!) has to do
with Planet Fitness, the gym chain that advertises itself as a “lunk-free
zone,” wherein “lunk” is defined in a variety of ways, all of which equate
roughly to: someone who makes you feel uncomfortable at the gym. Basically,
says the lunk writing the article (he admits that he has been to multiple
Planet Fitness locations while traveling, as an “emergency gym”; who among us
has never had a workout emergency, except everyone?), Planet Fitness has
declared war on the fit: it’s an “assault on people who are actually trying to
get a workout.”
I think I just got a day’s worth of exercise rolling my
eyes.
Look, as a woman with a much-less-than-ideal body type, I
can’t help but appreciate Planet Fitness’ marketing campaign. I have big bones,
I have a toddler, and my hormones are a mess (all in fat-producing ways –
thanks, body!) and as a result I just don’t feel that comfortable in gyms. If I’m
there, it’s grudgingly, and it’s to work out while hating every minute of it.
If you’re standing in front of the mirror, flexing for a selfie and giving the
fatties around you the stink-eye for daring to pollute your workout space with
their blubber, I basically wish you would disappear in a puff of smoke. But you
have the right to be a lunk, most certainly. And I – and other people to whom
Planet Fitness are marketing their gym – have the right to wish you weren’t.
Also, I would venture a guess that the lunks of the world
are outnumbered by the lunk-wary, which is why Planet Fitness, despite being
named “The Worst Gym in America” by Men’s Health, according to this article, is
also “rapidly-growing.” In fact,
this article cites the statistic that 85% of Americans do not currently belong
to a gym (which percentage he refers to as “the doughy majority,” because he’s
charming like that). Planet Fitness' strategy is convincing non-gym-goers that their gym is a great starting place. You can go in there, out of shape or not, and not find yourself
surrounded by a bunch of meatheads who make it clear that they’re judging you
and wishing they could come right out and call you doughy. There are enough of
us out there to make it worth Planet Fitness’ while to risk offending people
who – and this is key – obviously self-identify
as lunks. Because if you don’t think of yourself as a lunk, then how could you
be offended by a commercial advertising a gym that doesn’t cater to lunks?
What I really find remarkable about this article, though, is
the admiring way in which its author describes how these self-identified lunks
got Planet Fitness’ YouTube channel shut down by “organizing a mass flagging of
their commercials as offensive material.” Let’s be clear: these commercials did
not show nudity, or profanity, or racism, or indeed anything objectively
offensive. They merely portrayed gym rats as annoying. And YouTube, not noted
for its bravery in the face of bullies, shut the channel down.
I just wonder
who has that kind of time on their hands, that they would organize a campaign
to get a company’s YouTube channel shut down for something so silly. Maybe get
a hobby? Or spend more time at your lunk-friendly gym! Maybe soon your biceps
will be so big you won’t be able to lower your arms far enough to click that
little flag on YouTube.
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