29 May 2014


Sometimes you go to Panera Bread alone for lunch, and they somehow lose your order between the register and the monitor three feet away where they put together the orders.

You stand there, pregnant and hungry and ready to vomit because you're pregnant and hungry, and you realize that the ladies who ordered right before you are long gone with their food and the people getting their food now weren't even in the parking lot when you first started waiting here for your lunch.

So you speak up, and sometimes the dude behind the counter is obviously inclined to believe that you're trying to scam him. Luckily, you resisted your urge to throw away your (usually useless) receipt, and so you have some proof. He realizes that he hasn't delivered to anyone your cup of broccoli cheddar soup and half of a turkey avocado BLT, sans bacon, and of course he remembers that because you're the only person in the world who asks to have the bacon taken off a BLT. (I hate bacon; I know, I'm a space alien.)

He throws together your meal slightly haphazardly, but for heaven's sake who cares, you're starving, remember? But you make a quiet promise to yourself not to come back. This is really inexcusable.

And then sometimes they give you an extra hunk of still-warm French baguette and a free cookie for your wait.

And all is forgiven. See you soon, probably, Panera Bread.

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