Prayers FTW!

... As if there was any doubt.

After a good two weeks of boogering it up big time, our little sweet face is (maybe -- no jinxes!) back to her old sweet self. We had been enduring wall-to-wall tantrums and hitting. (It's not that she was getting away with it; it's just that punishments didn't phase her. At all.)

We had fallen away from saying her bedtime prayers with her -- I know! Bad momma! -- partly because she's young and it'll be a little bit before she's able to say them with us, but mostly because we just weren't prioritizing it. Bad momma.

Last night, I plunked her in her crib after she smacked me in the face with both hands simultaneously at bedtime. I was so mad at her. Because she knew she was being punished, she refused all of her nighttime accoutrements: pacifier, lovey, stuffed lamb and monkey, and blanket. I put everything where she could reach it and left the room. I figured she would calm down, grab everything and go to sleep.

But it wasn't long before I started to feel bad. I hadn't given her an opportunity to apologize, I hadn't given her any nighttime snuggles, and I hadn't said her prayers with her. I went back in and picked her up. She kind of sniffled in my ear and said, "Sowwy, mama." I thanked her for her apology, sat with her in the glider, and we said her prayers. When the prayers were done, I gave her a kiss, gave her all of her stuff, laid her back down, and made the sign of the cross on her sweet little forehead. She peacefully went to sleep.

This morning was still a little bit rough. She did have a meltdown, but for the first time in weeks she calmed herself down. She played happily until Daddy was ready to take her to daycare. Her nanny reported a much happier kid. When she got home, we tried on her new tutu:

And she was just her old happy self for the rest of the night until bedtime.

You had better believe we said her prayers tonight.

You had better believe I am not going to let them slip again.

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On a related topic, what version of "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" does everyone use with their kids? I have been using the one I grew up with:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

But when I just googled it, looking for a graphic, I came across nine million graphics that went:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
May angels watch me through the night,
And wake me with the morning light.

I don't think I want to switch from my childhood version. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to deal with the topic of death, and they'll be familiar with the concept from young childhood this way.

My sister switched to the new version with her daughters. I believe she did so after I was babysitting one night and putting the girls to bed. The younger one was just a baby, eight months or so, which means the older one was not quite four. She was saying her prayers and we got to that one, and she said the version from my childhood, segueing into:

O Angel of God, my guardian dear,
To whom God's love commits me here.
Ever this night, be at my side,
To light, to guard, to rule...

And then she looked me right in the eye and said:

And to DIIIIIE.

I almost died. It was creepy and hilarious. When my sister got home and I told her about it, she agreed it was creepy and hilarious, and then the next time I heard the girls saying their prayers they had switched versions.

True story.

Giving until it hurts.

Mother Teresa, speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington D.C. in 1994: 

I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child, a direct killing of the innocent child, murder by the mother herself. 

And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love and we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts. Jesus gave even His life to love us. So, the mother who is thinking of abortion, should be helped to love, that is, to give until it hurts her plans, or her free time, to respect the life of her child. The father of that child, whoever he is, must also give until it hurts. 

By abortion, the mother does not learn to love, but kills even her own child to solve her problems. 

And, by abortion, the father is told that he does not have to take any responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world. That father is likely to put other women into the same trouble. So abortion just leads to more abortion. 

Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. This is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion. 

Many people are very, very concerned with the children of India, with the children of Africa where quite a few die of hunger, and so on. Many people are also concerned about all the violence in this great country of the United States. These concerns are very good. But often these same people are not concerned with the millions who are being killed by the deliberate decision of their own mothers. And this is what is the greatest destroyer of peace today — abortion which brings people to such blindness. 

And for this I appeal in India and I appeal everywhere — “Let us bring the child back.” The child is God’s gift to the family. Each child is created in the special image and likeness of God for greater things — to love and to be loved. In this year of the family we must bring the child back to the center of our care and concern. This is the only way that our world can survive because our children are the only hope for the future. As older people are called to God, only their children can take their places. 

But what does God say to us? He says: “Even if a mother could forget her child, I will not forget you. I have carved you in the palm of my hand.” We are carved in the palm of His hand; that unborn child has been carved in the hand of God from conception and is called by God to love and to be loved, not only now in this life, but forever. God can never forget us. 

I will tell you something beautiful. We are fighting abortion by adoption — by care of the mother and adoption for her baby. We have saved thousands of lives. We have sent word to the clinics, to the hospitals and police stations: “Please don’t destroy the child; we will take the child.” So we always have someone tell the mothers in trouble: “Come, we will take care of you, we will get a home for your child.” And we have a tremendous demand from couples who cannot have a child — but I never give a child to a couple who have done something not to have a child. Jesus said. “Anyone who receives a child in my name, receives me.” By adopting a child, these couples receive Jesus but, by aborting a child, a couple refuses to receive Jesus. 

Please don’t kill the child. I want the child. Please give me the child. I am willing to accept any child who would be aborted and to give that child to a married couple who will love the child and be loved by the child. 

From our children’s home in Calcutta alone, we have saved over 3,000 children from abortion. These children have brought such love and joy to their adopting parents and have grown up so full of love and joy.

Must-Read Monday, Week of 5 May 2014

Throughout the course of the week, I'll curate a list of links for y'all to read (if you want! No pressure!), because I wander all over the internets and I may have found something you haven't seen.

Please, please share your must-reads in the comments!

Just two three this week, because I have been busy. And tired. Oh my gosh, so tired!

• Google: have to use it for everything, because all the options are awful. But their motto, "Don't Be Evil," is basically just a joke these days: "Pro-Abortion Group Gets Google To Take Down 'Deceptive' Crisis Pregnancy Ads."

• And the always impressive Kevin D. Williamson explains the evocative term "evangelical atheist," with respect to the recent Supreme Court ruling allowing for public prayer at civic meetings: Room to Pray.

• I won't link to the original, because ew. I will not participate in clicks for such trash. So instead, a synopsis of the Cosmopolitan article "Why I Filmed My Abortion" at National Review Online: Yahoo! I Had an Abortion! Pray for her.

"Answer Me This" Linkup, Week 4

Kendra at Catholic All Year is hosting a weekly linkup. She provides the questions, you provide the answers, and then you link up with everyone back on her page. It's a great way to get to know a little about your fellow bloggy travelers, as well as a chance to consider some things about yourself that you hadn't before. Join us! 

Kendra's answers, next week's questions and the linkup can be found here.

1. Are you becoming your mother?

In some ways. I spent my late adolescence self-assuredly insisting that I was never going to have kids, because I was afraid I'd be too much like my mom and my kids would resent me. Oh, teenage me.

My mom isn't perfect. But she is an amazing woman. 

2. Coffee or tea?

Coffee, although I think I like it more than it likes me. As a singer, tea is something I've always wanted to like, but haven't ever been able to manage it. I just don't like it. 

3. What foreign country would you like to visit?

Well... Given the time off and an unlimited vacation budget, I'd go back to Ireland and stay until I'd seen all the things. I was there when I was fifteen -- and had my first kiss on St. Paddy's Day night in Dublin! -- and would love to go back with my husband and kid(s). But if we're discussing places I've never been that I'd like to see? I guess Wills and Kate's official visit to Australia and New Zealand did the trick because I want to go to there.

4. Do you cry easily?

I tear up likethat when I hear stories about... Well, I don't want to make anyone else cry. But babies and kids are my Achilles heel of keeping my eyes dry. Just can't do it if I hear a sad story about a baby. And check out my contribution to Blythe's One Hot Mess linkup if you want to hear about my crying for a whole day recently.

5. How often do you wear heels?

I work full-time from home so I live a barefoot life. I try to doll it up for Mass, but I often do two in a row (which, with choir warmups beforehand and the space between Masses is about four hours all told), and my poor flat feet just can't do four hours in heels. I literally hobbled home the last time I tried. 

6. Do you play an instrument?

I play my own little pipes -- my voice box. I never had any kind of music lessons (until voice lessons as a college freshman), but we had a Miracle when I was in middle school or so. My parents dismantled it for Christmas because it was in the way of the tree and never put it back up. They say it's because we never used it but I did! 

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Hop on over to Kendra's blog and link up! I promise it'll be fun. Meanwhile, my little fever-face -- fourth day running with a temperature over 103°! What is happening! -- is finally up and so I have to go get her. Which means I'll be either watching Frozen or trying desperately to distract her from her pleas to watch Frozen in about four minutes. 

Empathy vs. Religion

One of my Facebook friends (actually a cousin of mine) shared this yesterday:

And while I'm obviously not about to comment on it, because when I saw it she had posted it about fifteen minutes ago and already had a dozen likes (and so that leads me to believe that the majority of her friends are in agreement and would respond to any comment of mine with a good, old-fashioned flame war), I have some thoughts.

Shall we?

First, I think this is true in a very limited way. I think the basics of right and wrong are easily assimilated from society. There's no one out there who doesn't know that murder is wrong, even if some people don't care. This extends to kindness to animals and babies, not taking things that don't belong to you, and not cheating on your spouse.

But empathy is not enough, not even close. In fact, empathy is a well-known signpost on the proverbial road to hell that's paved with good intentions.

Consider a high school girl who finds herself pregnant. She goes to a Catholic high school (which will not let her attend with a baby bump), she has conservative parents who she thinks will kick her out if they find out, and she wants to just undo the problem. Empathy might lead you to help her procure an abortion.

Empathy would have led you astray.

This girl does not need an abortion, she needs support. She needs counseling to help her deal with telling her parents, she needs a place to live if she's right about them kicking her out of the house, she needs help exploring adoption and parenting options. She needs love, not the false compassion that helps her murder the child growing within her because it's inconvenient.

Religion, on the other hand, has something to say about this. The One True Religion, Catholicism, is an especially good resource for answers. Present a moral dilemma to four anti-religionists and you will get four completely different answers provided by "empathy" or "ethics." Ask the Catechism, and you will get one clear answer. The right answer.

How arrogant to think that a single human mind is capable of correctly assessing every situation for its moral answer!

Thank God for His Holy Church here on Earth.

Thank God for the Magisterium, wrestling with issues and passing down what is good and right.

Thank God.

One Hot Mess Linkup

Blythe at The Fike Life has initiated a linkup for us to share our hot messes. Because nothing makes a hot mess feel better than seeing some other hot messes!

Blythe shared her closet as her mess, but I have to say: I don't think it quite counts. Her closet is messy because the closet system failed. I'm too embarrassed to show my closet because it's like that for no good reason. I'm just messy. It's too small, I have too much stuff, I hate putting laundry away... It's a combination of all those things, none of which amount to an actual good excuse like, "The closet system crapped out."

At first I thought about this and thought that my house is in decent shape right now. There aren't any huge messes (excepting my closet), and if you ignore the fact that I washed the same load of laundry three times because I forgot to take it out of the washer the first two times (durrrrrh), I'm on top of my game!

And then I remembered.

Yesterday.

Oh good gracious, yesterday. I spent yesterday in periodic tears because my daughter might hate me. About a week and a half or two weeks ago, she started this weird thing. Every time she sees me, she slaps herself in the face and says, "NO! Key-a!" I have never, ever smacked her in the face, so I can only assume that she's trying to frame me to Child Protective Services. Then, every morning this week, she threw the mother of all tantrums in the morning about nothing. Our routine is that I let her wake up on her own, and then I retrieve her from her crib, milk at the ready, and she drinks her milk while I change her diaper and then I dress her. We bring breakfast with us to her daycare, because she's just had a cup of milk and she prefers to wait before eating.

But this week, the routine was more like: I let her wake up on her own. I went into her room and she greeted me cheerfully, and handed me all of her crib friends (pacifier, lovie, stuffed Lambie and blanket). I picked her up and carried her out of her room and as soon as we crossed the threshold, she unleashed on me. Three mornings in a row. And I'm not talking about a little whining; I'm talking about full-on screaming such that I was genuinely concerned that my neighbors were going to call the police on me. I would try to hand her milk to her and she would bat it away like it was poison. I would try and hold her and she would lash out at me like I was hurting her. I would put her down and she would scream even louder like I was abandoning her.

There was absolutely nothing I could do to calm her. Yesterday morning was the strongest tantrum yet, and it only ended when she caught a glimpse of my blotchy, tear-stained face. It made her feel bad to see me crying, which is fair because she was absolutely making me cry for no better reason than that she felt like it.

Check out the ironic outfit.

I gathered my jangled nerves and got her to daycare -- through a monsoon, which did nothing to improve my appearance -- at which point I broke down again while telling her nanny about our morning. I cried again on the phone with my husband, because she was making me feel like a terrible parent. I didn't know what was wrong with her, I didn't know how to fix it, and she pushed me away like I was the cause of all of her problems. I cried again when my boss asked me, "How's it going?"

I was a HOT. MESS.

So Daddy is taking over morning duty for a couple of weeks even though he has to rearrange his whole schedule to do so. I shouldn't let an eighteen-month-old rattle me, and I'm not an easily rattled person, but I just couldn't do it again. This morning, she woke up and Daddy did the whole morning routine and she was fine. Cheerful. Happy to be alive.

Sigh.